Timbuktu--There's A Good Reason Few People Come Here

I've been in Timbuktu for only half a day and already I'm exasperated by this place. Since it is a destination for idiot tourists like me who come here only for the name, it is a den of people who prey on the tourists.

I let the guide who wasn't supposed to meet me (actually I told the guides in Mopti not to call him), but I let him switch me to the Hôtel Bouctou from the cheaper Hotel Camping Timbouctou since it has a bar and I was thirsty and like the idea that I can get cold beer close by. So I'm happy with that. The problem with the place is hidden in the Lonely Planet description. It's one of those places that the vultures feed on the tourist wallets. I had fun with the Tuaregs this morning since I had cold water and a cold beer. But that was just buying some inexpensive stuff that is actually kind of neat anyway.

So, I typed up my long blog about the hellish trip--even Charon's trip across the River Styx is probably a more pleasant journey. So, I went out to post the blog. On the way out, a guy (Ali Baba) told me they need to know how many nights I'll stay. I told him it depends on the Comanav boat schedule. He asked which direction. My first choice is Gao, but if that's too far out and Mopti is closer, I'd prefer to do Mopti. Gao leaves Sunday night. So Gao it is. Lonely Planet put the cost at CFA 21000 (US$42) for a third class ticket. He offered to handle everything for CFA 25000. A $8 commission for him. A bit high, but I'm getting ripped off everywhere. Oh well. At least I won't have to worry about it. He just needed my name for the reservation. The hotel desk clerk refused to lend him a pen for my name though. Hmmm.... I thought this guy was working for the hotel--he said we need to know how many nights I'll stay. He took me into his office which is right next to the Bouctou. He told me there was an internet cafe by the big mosque in the library, but he wasn't clear enough on where it was.
Then as I was leaving a Tuareg guy started following me. He was just talking and emphasizing that he is not a guide--that the Tuareg are not guides. Nope, not a guide, him. I passed by what I thought was the library the guy was talking about, but I didn't really see an entrance and there was nothing indicating it was an internet cafe. The Tuareg guy told me there is another one down the street. I said I wanted to go to the one in the library since Ali Baba told me it has a better connection. But the Tuareg guy took me to the other one saying it was cheap. I told him I didn't want cheap, I want fast. He said it was. But he lives in the frickin' desert. He wouldn't know a fast connection. I got on one computer--I couldn't even Explorer to start. The Tuareg guy sat down in a chair. Is this guy going to wait for me? I don't need pressure like that! I got an another one--my email wouldn't work on it because it's too old. So I left. They didn't charge me anything since I wasn't able to use it. Then Ali Baba came back. He gave me a receipt that said CFA 33000 and he needed the money to go buy the tickets. CFA 33000? We had agreed on 25000. He said the big boss said that the 25000 doesn't include food--and the 25000 didn't even include transportation. I told him I didn't need food--I'd take care of myself. That we had agreed on a price and I was sick of this sort of treatment and that I wanted the ticket at the price he quoted he originally. He left and went to talk to his boss. A few minutes later, his boss came with him and explained that for 1st through 3rd class the additional cost is obligatory. How long has Ali Baba been working this job that he wouldn't know this? I don't like this treatment. I said I wanted a second opinion and got out the Lonely Planet to show them that there was a recommended agency in town, Azalaï Voyages, that arranges Comanav transportation and I wanted a quote from them before I would commit to anything with them. Well, it turns out, they are Azalaï Voyages. Oops. Finally, they decided to make it all inclusive and include transportation and make it CFA 35000.

I was testy as hell. I explained that it was because I came on the cargo pinasse and didn't sleep at all the last 2 nights. I hope they understand. Still, I don't like an agent for a agency quoting one price and then ratcheting it up.

OK, that was done at least. I uploaded my blogs and saw a little news and checked some email. This is the faster connection, but still pretty damn slow. Finally it froze on the Facebook Cities I've Visited Application which is definitely one of the more CPU/bandwidth greedy applications on Facebook. It just puked on me and I don't know what my Timbuktu status is. Oh well. I'll eventually get it fixed.

Then I left. Guess who was there. The Tuareg guy. Mali has been like this since Bamako. It's really getting annoying as hell. He followed me back and finally he wanted to show me his jewelry. I explained to him that I already bought jewelry and didn't need any more. He and his friend tried to sell me necklaces. Finally they realized that I actually meant I wasn't going to buy anything and he asked for a gift. A gift? He led me in the hot sun to a slow internet cafe, followed me yammering the whole way from the hotel when I'm tired as frickin' hell because I didn't sleep the last two nights, and he wants me to reward him for his failed attempt to sell me jewelry I don't need? I said I didn't have anything. Finally he left and I went back to my room. I was hot and thirsty. I counted my money. Not enough CFA to last to Mopti. So I figured I better go to the bank now while it's open. They have shorter hours during Ramadan and Friday afternoons are dodgy as well with afternoon prayers. With my boat leaving Sunday, I better do it now. So I walked in the hot sun. I found the BDM. Mercifully, it had an ATM. Again, it is the ATM that gives small amounts and asks you to manually enter an amount if you want more, but doesn't show the digits as you press them. So I carefully punched in CFA 150000 (US$300) and out they came. Also, the ATM room in air conditioned. Whew!

Time to head back. I went by the post. I figured I better get my stamps now since the post also closes for Friday afternoon prayers and doesn't reopen until Monday. So I went in to buy 14 stamps to the US and one to Europe. Each US address requires a 385 and a 20 and the Europe address requires a 385 and a 10. The guy charged me 7 thousand something. I trusted him at first and handed over a CFA 10000 bill. Then I started think that it seemed a little too high, I did the math myself and came up with CFA 6065. We got into a argument over the price. He had my CFA 10000 note and had 2 CFA 2000's in his hand. He wanted a CFA 1000 note so he could give me the CFA 4000. I agreed to give him a CFA 100 coin--effectively paying CFA 6100. He can have the extra 7 cents. But I'm not going to let him rip me off my $2. Finally, he gave in. A postal employee! Even with fixed prices, they try to take advantage and rip me off.
I got my stamps home and decided I wanted a beer in a place other than the hotel. So I went to the Bar Restaurant Le Souvenir. It was hard to find because the sign says they are on the "1ere étage" but they on what we in America would call the 3rd floor. They call themselves a bar, but there was no beer on the menu and the decor was simply unpleasant. Oh well. I got a water bottle and a plate of spaghetti. The water was cool, but not cold and the spaghetti was OK but not great. I started writing out postcards. The total came to CFA 2500 (US$5) which is not a bad price. The whole time, this Tuareg guy was staring at me. Then his friend came in and when I asked for the check, he wanted to show me his jewelry. I told him I already had jewelry and didn't need any more. I went back to the hotel.

A bunch of Tuareg people were there and wanted to sell me more jewelry. I bumped into the postcard kid and asked for more postcards. He had to go home to get them, and soon came back. I bought 10 more for CFA 300 (US$6). The kid was happy. He sold 15 post cards to me today. They wanted to show me their jewelry. I told them I didn't need any jewelry, so any price over CFA 0 was not going to work--but if they wanted to pay me to take the jewelry, we could talk. They started wanting to trade for jewelry--my watch, my pants, my shoes. I explained I needed all these. I'm not some tourist about to return to America in a week where I can replace anything. I'm on a hardcore trip and I need everything I have. In the end, they got nothing, but they saw that I bought the postcards, so I am doing commerce with people who have what I need.

I went back to the room. A few minutes later a knock--there's a kid who kept asking me for laundry so I gave him 5 dirty shirts and my dirty North Face zip-offs and now he was returning my clean laundry. For only CFA 2000 (US$4) I got it all done. Nice!

My room is hotter than hell. I need water and beer. Time for me to go to the bar and start the evening. I'll bring my books and stuff so they'll know I want to be alone with my thoughts--though I'm sure it won't work and I'll have to fend off the hangers-on.

September 25, 2008 17:10 Mali local time